After more than 7 months, the time has come for us to visit home. And after 7 months, I find myself calling this home more and more often. It's making me realize that while home for us is in Attleboro where our friends and family are... home also is here, where my family is - Josh, the kids, Jake. That it's ok for home to be in more than one place. It is truly where your heart is and for me, that's in 2 places - the US and here in Barcelona. And it's made me realize that while our house in Attleboro is our home, it is also just a house and that we've adjusted just fine here (ok, some faster than others) without it (and at least half our possessions which says something too).
So the question I'm now faced with is, "can we really go back home again?" I've been gone for 7 months. Yes, we still own the house in Attleboro (though someone else lives in it right now). We still have a car there. We still have friends and family there. But what I wonder is, "will it feel like home?" or is it going to feel like I'm a visitor just popping in? While I've stayed in contact with most everyone, and over email the relationships all feel the same, will I be able to just jump right back in where I left off? Or will I feel like an outsider? And not just me, but how will the kids feel when we are there? Will it be like we never left?
I'm more curious than anything about what it's gonig to be like. I'm incredibly excited about the visit. Definitely anxious about the travel (it's just me with the kids - Josh is staying here to work). And ambivilent about what the next 2 weeks holds for us. I don't want to set myself up for any disappointment and at the same time I can't wait to see everyone and everything (dreaming of Target!). I know I've changed in the last 7 months, my hope is for the better. I think I've become more confident in myself. I've become more worldly and I don't mean that in a snobbish way - just that I've experienced more than the fishbowl that had been my life (as a reminder, up til we moved here, I had NEVER lived outside Massachusetts) and seen what the world has to offer. I've become more tolerant (Josh would probably disagree with that) and more patient (the kids might disagree with this) because I've had no choice but to adjust with my surroundings. And I'm very curious how these changes will impact my life back at home.
And so I travel home with an open mind tomorrow. It will probably be a very tired mind considering our flight is at 6:30AM, but it will be open. I can't wait to see my family when we arrive at the airport (thanks for picking us up). And I can't wait to see Boston again - the familiarness of my surroundings. Getting to drive again (so excited about that!!!!). Seeing all those that I love and hold dear to my heart - I can't wait to see all of you!! See you soon!!!
Julie
LATER THE SAME DAY: So my opinion has changed slightly. This being because I went out to the hallway of our building and found that my stroller had been stolen. For 7 months it was safely ensconced in the hallway. It's a building with 3 apartments, 2 of which are vacant more often than not and so we "assumed" wrongly that it was safe. And so now off I go back to the States with a bad taste in my mouth of one of my last experiences here before I go home. For those that remember, will recall that the day we left to come here we also had a stroller incident. If you don't remember, go back to the January entry for the day we left the US (around Jan 4/5). Now we've come full circle apparently and I will now need that stroller we left behind to bring with me back to Spain... Ahhh Spain...
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