Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Drivers License Update... Pass or Fail??

Ahhh Spain.... this whole drivers license thing is killing me, painfully and slowly killing me.  What made me decide that this was a good idea?  Why couldn't I just go the route of most people and drive illegally?  Am I that much of a goody two shoes that I need to do this by the rules?  I've questioned this way too many times in the last few weeks.

I went back to drivers ed again this weekend, 16 more painful hours of test taking after test taking and oh, more test taking.  I will say that this weekend I felt much less defeated than last.  I had practiced a bunch during the week and had passed all but one exam that I took.  And yet, my first day in class on Saturday, I started to fail again on the school's practice exams... then I started taking the ones from the DGT (the DMV of Spain) and yup, started passing again.  Hmmmm... so maybe the trick is to only take theirs???  I did a mix of both as well as written book exams (which is how my exam would be, written, not on the computer) just to make sure I was covering all my bases.  I think by the end of Saturday I was around 50% pass/fail.  To me that's not a great sign.  Sunday wasn't much better.

It was frustrating but I'm not one to give up so easily.  The class was only 5 students, all of different backgrounds and driving experience.  I'm 99% sure I'm the oldest in the class (though not by a ton of years to most of them) which to me puts the pressure on to pass because I've been driving the longest.  Of the 5, 3 of us already have licenses in other countries and 2 have never driven before.  We were told the school has a pass rate of around 95%.  No pressure!!!

My exam was on Monday and so I spent part of Sunday night continuing to study though easily passing the DGT exams.  Monday morning I hit the gym to get out some excess energy before heading to the written exam.  I got there early (of course) and met up with my class.  We were all pretty anxious.  Did I really feel like this when I was 16?  I don't remember being so nervous before the written exam (the driving definitely).  I think this is the most pressure I've felt in a long time when it comes to trying to accomplish something.  I don't take failure well.

The test was 1000x worse than I imagined.  Yes, that bad.  I was double thinking the questions from the very first one.  I left the exam feeling once again, defeated.  And upon talking to my fellow test takers, everyone else was questioning their results as well.  The questions didn't cover the areas I expected nor were many of the ones on the exam anywhere in the tests I had taken over the last week plus.  So I left there feeling frustrated and prepared to get the text on Tuesday stating that I had failed and would need to take the exam again next week.  Not a great feeling.  Once again feeling defeated despite the fact that there was nothing I could do until the results came in 24 hours.

Waiting 24 hours for the results was semi killer.  Unlike when I was 16 (and found out immediately if I passed or not), at 37 I have a whole lot more distractions in my day and for that I'm thankful.  But why they can't correct the tests faster or, I know... do them on a computer for instant results... is beyond me, especially in this day and age.  And so wait I did... and this morning around 10 when I was taking a shower, the results came via text "Lo siento has suspendido, vuelves a ir a examen el 16/10".  Sorry, you have failed and can take the exam again on 10/16.  Ahhhhh this sucks!!!

But I didn't cry.  I thought if I failed I would cry.  But I didn't.  I guess I've grown up a bit over the years.  I'm frustrated, certainly.  Because this means putting off the driving portion of drivers ed by another week and I had been hoping to start that early next week.  It also means that while on vacation this coming long weekend, I'll need to bring my driving books with me so I can practice in our downtime in the evening.  And really, it's just plain embarrassing - I've had my license for 20 years and yet I can't pass the theoretical portion of the driving test?  Maybe I don't deserve my license?

In the end, I have a plan.  I will take the test again next week.  I'll pass the test.  And I'm going to use this as an example for Aidan to understand that even adults can fail and that nothing in life is perfect, nor is it always as easy as it seems.  And that I will persevere and that hopefully, I will pass this the next time.  If he gets something out of this, then the failure will be worth it.  So keep your fingers crossed and look for an update next Wednesday as to whether I pass or fail... let's hope for pass!!!


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