Friday, August 15, 2014


So you know how yesterday I was feeling pretty good about this move?  Just one day ago?  That all the travel has proven to be a great distraction from the imminent move?  Well I'm throwing that out the window. And that might not be the only thing I throw up... I mean out. Yup full on panic mode.

Why you ask?  It's a simple, stupid thing really but enough to throw me into a tailspin. The kids and I arrive Sunday. They start school Monday. Josh and I were going to spend the day getting me acclimated. He's now planning to work. Throwing me to the wolves. And I'm not dealing well with it. 

The realistic side of me says - What's the problem?  You have a GPS and can get around. You will spend most of the day unpacking anyways. But the emotional side is saying. It's day 1 and you are on your own... Now... Go!!!

I suppose I can't complain as I'm totally throwing the kids in without any warm up beforehand, so why shouldn't I?  Well, because I know it's going to be hard and they have no idea!!  Though Aidan told me today he's feeling pretty good about it right now.

But the harsh reality is starting to hit.  WE ARE MOVING TO AMSTERDAM!  There is no going back, only forward.  There are going to be obstacles ahead, a lot of them, some big, some small, but there are going to be there.  Just like they were in Barcelona.  And I'm exhausted.  Emotionally exhausted from it all.  It has been a long 10 months.  So long.  And I'm just trying to pull strength from somewhere to get through those beginning days.  Maybe it will all surprise me and we will settle in quickly - that would make me incredibly happy.  But I need to be prepared for it to not be quite that simple because the reality is, it probably won't be.

I'm trying to think positively.  I'm trying to just be like a bead of water and go with the flow of it all. I'm exhausted from our 7 weeks from when we left Barcelona.  Two weeks on the cruise and a whirlwind 5 weeks at home in the US - I can barely keep my eyes open.  So part of me is relieved to be heading out soon so that maybe I can get back to a normal sleep routine ;)

It's hard to believe that in less than 2 days we will be starting our new lives (yet again) in the Netherlands.  It all feels very surreal at this point.  It has been a long time coming and I'm glad we are finally there.  We are all looking forward to getting settled as well.

36 hours and counting....


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