Cousins Reunion

My cousin Meghan and I are very close.  We chat regularly and she's been out to visit me in Barcelona with a second trip scheduled for this fall.  Of all my cousins, she is the one I talk with the most.  And like with my other family, don't get to see nearly enough of her while I'm home.

And being the sweet friend that she is, she offered to host a bbq at my aunt and uncle's house while we were home so that we would get to see a lot of our family at once, something that is hard for us to do with the crazy (self-inflicted) schedule that we follow while we are here.  I don't get to see my extended family often and so I jumped at the chance to see everyone while we were home.

The kids are fascinated with the idea of having cousins.  They don't have any first cousins but it doesn't matter for them.  Cousins are cousins and I have to agree.  They asked me for all the details of who would be there but I actually couldn't tell them as I didn't even know - I had an idea but no definites.

In the end, it was a fantastic day.  It started off slow and easy.  Just hanging out and then more people came and then more.  Some of my family I haven't seen in years (another story for another day).  Some I hadn't even met!!  It felt, not awkward, but not smooth, initially but by the time we were ready to leave to head to the cape, neither the kids nor I wanted to go - we were having such a great time.  We'd broken the ice and everyone was just hanging out and having fun.  Playing on the swingset, driving the jeep, playing wiffle ball (I think Aidan is going to be a baseball player when we return to the US - what an arm!) and then an impromptu kickball/football/dodgeball game that had us all laughing hysterically.

Shawn and Daniela taking a spin... 

Liam's BFF, Duke

Uncle Richard teaching Liam how to swing a bat

Papa and Aidan playing ball

Aidan and Liam playing ball

He's ready!

All the kids on the swingset!

Liam and Papa

Loving the water slide!

Liam proceeded to drive this jeep right into my aunt's planter.  I'm hesitant to let him ever get a real drivers' license... all the third cousins (except Patrick and baby Owen who weren't there).

Sarah taking Aidan down... an absolutely hysterical moment

Our kickball/dodgeball/football game

Shawn and Liam

Wheelbarrow races!

Family reunion :)  Thanks to everyone who made the day so much fun!!

I felt like the day took on a life of it's own and for me it was wonderful getting to know people that I hadn't seen in years or just getting to know the ones I do see, just a little bit better.  I didn't feel as much like a guest as I did family and that was a huge thing for me.  And the kids fit right in, just where they belong!  Thanks Meghan, Richard and Janice for having us - we had such a great time!!!  Can't wait to see all of you this fall in Barcelona!!

Besos,
Julie

From Barcelona to Deerfield - A Mini Babson Reunion

I was beyond thrilled that Caryn and Urs came to visit Josh and I back in June.  I've actually seen more of both of them in the time that Josh and I have been in away than I think I had seen in the previous 5 years as we had all moved to different states and started families, new jobs, etc.  But our friendship is strong and neither the time nor distance was going to get in the way of us having reunions each year when I came home.

With the exception of the year that I had a party at my house when we were between renters, the three of us had not gotten together at once in years up til this year.  After the visit to Barcelona we all agreed we need to get together the three of us more often, a challenge when I live 4000 miles away, but one we have accepted (and it's only 2 more years) and will work around.

So with our trip to the US around the corner, we had chatted about how we could make it work when we had only one day to get together.  Urs lives in Albany, Caryn in Manchester, NH and I would be coming from MA.  We did some triangulating and eventually came up with somewhere in the Berkshires which seemed to be the mid way point.

After some back and forth, Urs suggested Deerfield, the home of Yankee Candle.  It was almost exactly 2 hours from each of us, a totally manageable trip.  The next question - to bring the kids or not to bring the kids.  I decided that despite the fact that I'd love some alone time with my friends, that it would be easier to bring the kids and I wouldn't feel any pressure to be back home to pick them up thereby getting extra time with them.  And while Urs and Caryn decided to leave their youngest kids at home (their oldests are closer in age to Liam), we had 4 "big" kids with us which was plenty!

I'd heard the Yankee Candle in Deerfield was cool and it was - with more candles than you can imagine, it was a bit of a winter, fall, spring, summer wonderland.  Full of candles, toys, fudge, old fashioned candies and knick knacks for the home, it pretty much covered every base and the size of the store was deceiving - it was huge!!  We actually spent a good 2 hours in there!  The kids made molds of their hands in wax and got to dip candles in wax and even make their own candles!

Christmas in August??

Fascinated!

Goofy hats

Toys and trains!

145 days til xmas (as of Aug 3)

Santa

Aidan making his candle

Dipping candles in wax

Aidan making a wax mold of his hand

After Yankee Candle, Urs had found a pizza place nearby that had probably some of the best pizza I've had in a long time and bonus, they had gluten free pizza for Urs!  The kids got a bit rowdy though and we had a woman speak to us about them... ok, perhaps a not so great parenting moment, but hey, they were having fun.  Aidan was actually at the adults table because he considers himself to be an adult and we had a great time having him entertain us and playing cards with him while the younger kids raised a ruckus at the other table.

The kids obviously had some energy to release so after lunch we headed to the local elementary school where we let the kids loose on the jungle gym and to run through the grass and just have a good time while the adults hung out at a picnic table catching up.  Eventually the kids got bored and started to ask us all if it was time to go home - I guess we could only expect so much of them in one day.  But in the end, it was a fantastic reunion and I'm so glad we had the chance to get together, if only for one day. Thanks to both of you for driving all that way for us!!

Besos,
Julie

Back to the 'Hood

Aidan's first words when we got to my parents' house was "can we go to Target?".  That was quickly followed by "when can we go to Attleboro?"  I've learned over the last few years that it doesn't make sense to wait to go to our neighborhood in Attleboro or else I will be constantly peppered with that question until we get there.  So while we had a few things to do before during that morning, one of the first things we did on our first day back was to go to the 'hood.

We didn't get to see many people that first day which was fine - kind of easing back into things.  But the reunions we had (and still have yet to have) have been wonderful.  Just when I start to have my doubts about where I belong in the picture, I find that I'm welcomed with open arms and that like I've said, some things (and people) have changed, most has stayed the same and that includes how much we all miss each other.

Liam has become quite the monkey this last year...

Liam and Ashley

Aidan and Lindsey having an intense foosball game

Chillin out

If we thought the last game was intense ;)

Papa Ginos!!  

And while there were moments of doubt surrounding some plans that went afoul, in the end, those plans took on a new life of their own and they ended up even better than expected.  With more quality moments than I could have asked for.

For Aidan, the reunions put a smile on his face like none that I see the rest of the year.  I'm not saying he doesn't smile during the year, because he does.  But there is something about being home that is so beyond special to him.  He has learned to love Barcelona and wants to stay there for the next 2, if not more, years ... but home has a place in his heart that understandably cannot be replicated or replaced anywhere else.  And to see his friends that he hasn't seen or spoken to in 14 months is a moment that melts your heart.

Enjoying the pool at the Anastasias

I think Liam's favorite part of vacation is the pool... yeah he loves being with the kids, but he LOVES the pool (and the hot tub!)!

All the kids having a great time!

It was boys vs. girls... the boys were armed and ready!

According to Rich, Liam talked his ear off and suggested that Aidan has a thing for his best girl-friend, Lindsey, something I've always suspected.  Last year they were both incredibly shy with each other and it felt good to see that this wasn't the case this year.  They clicked immediately and had such a great time together.  He spent time with his friends Andrew and Benjamin as well and they ran around the neighborhood, free as birds, something he wasn't at liberty to do in past years (a little last year but not as much as this year).

Aidan and Lindsey

Aidan and Nate

Crazy hair

I really miss having a swingset... so do the boys!

Finally, the hot tub!!  Liam has now had the BEST day ;)

How many kids can you fit in a hot tub?  Answer:  a lot!

Andrew, Aidan, Nate and Ben

Liam, not surprisingly, still doesn't remember home.  But yet he loves to go on vacation in "Bosty".  He loves that he gets to play with kids his age, some of which he remembers, others he does not.  His memory gets clearer and clearer each time we go back but it's of new memories, not of the time before we moved to Barcelona.  He still didn't remember our house (again) but I think now he understands that we still have one which is more than he understood before.

It is interesting watching Liam and how he blends in.  He doesn't really know any of the adults and has a vague recollection of them.  At one point, when he was being punished for a tantrum, our friend Rich suggested that he apologize (I was not around for this part).  Liam comes outside and says, "Richard said I should apologize".  Rich has never ever been Richard to any of us so it took me a few times of asking who before I made the connection.  Had we stayed in the 'hood, Liam never would have even thought of calling him Richard.  It was just one more moment that exemplifies that Liam sees things differently than the rest of us when it comes to being home.  He also was fascinated by the bonfire that Rich lit at night - in complete awe of "fire tv".  It's truly the simple things in life.

We did a couple of playdates and for the most part, kept them pretty small with Aidan focusing most on his best friend, Nate, whom he misses all the time.  I usually announce that we are back so that everyone can get together, but feeling already overwhelmed this year, I let the kids take the lead on who they wanted to see and when.

Aidan and his bff Nate... Nate has grilled me on when we plan to arrive back home for good and plans to make us stick to it!!

As has become our annual tradition, we also went to a bbq hosted, in our honor, by our great friends, the Anastasias.  Swimming, playing on the swingset and just running around and having a good time, you could not ask for more for the kids.  Great friends, great food, great times.  I always feel so good at the end of the night when we all turn in knowing that regardless of where we are, we always have a place here with such wonderful people that we are lucky to call our friends.

Aidan and Lindsey

Love this picture of them!

Max, Aidan, Nate and Aaron

Tatum - all smiles!

Pool time!

Who can throw the beanbags the hardest?  Aidan actually had bruises after playing.  These kids don't mess around with the bag toss!

Bonfire - great way to end a great day!

After the bbq, the kids and I stayed over with Aidan staying at his best friend, Nate's house next door.  And to continue our annual tradition, we all went to Hearth n Kettle for breakfast.  Now, going out to breakfast is unheard of in Spain.  There are one or two places but really, it's not the way things are done.  So going out to breakfast is often a special treat for us when we come home and doing it with our friends make it more special.  Unfortunately this year we found the food to be a bit subpar to what it normally is and Aidan vomited in the bathroom.  I suppose we need a few bumps along the road right?  The good news is that normally our Hearth n Kettle time is our goodbyes for the year and this year we are hoping to stop by at least one more time before we head back to Barcelona.

Our annual Hearth n Kettle breakfast - the kids actually went right to the bench and posed for the picture, apparently they are getting the hang of this ;) 

Aaron, Aidan, Nate, Liam, Lindsey and Ashley

Regardless of the chaos of our trip and the few bumps we had in the beginning, it felt so good to be back in our neighborhood with those we love, feeling like old times.  We already are counting the days til next year!

Besos,
Julie

Local or Visitor??

There is a saying that you can never go home again, but I don't believe it's true.  Yes, home is something that is constantly evolving but there will always be pieces that makes it feel like it is truly home.  From driving down Bay Road in Easton, passing by Wheaton Farm looking for deer, to taking a run thru the neighborhood I grew up in, to spending time with our friends and neighbors in Attleboro, reunions with friends who live far away, to spending quality time with family both immediate and extended, some of which we haven't seen in years.

Sure, we haven't done these things in a year and sometimes we feel like guests rather than locals, but with those that count, we have felt that we are home.  Before coming home, I'm always ambivalent. Will it feel like home still?  Will we feel like strangers in our own country?  Will we feel welcomed?  I stress myself out about these things weeks before we arrive.  I "interpret" every email wondering, do they really want to see us or are they just doing it out of obligation?  I way over think - something Josh is always reminding me of doing.

And then we arrive back and I realize that while some things have (expectedly) changed, others have stayed the same.  And for those that change, it's not always in a bad way.  People that I expected less of, give more and people that I expected more of, give less.  And of course, some stay exactly the same.  I feel like I've learned about myself so much in our time away and I've also learned about our relationships - I've stopped seeing them thru rose colored glasses and see people for who they are.  Some of these realizations break my heart and others warm it.

Being away is good for us.  It has taught us to appreciate the finer things in life.  Ok, not always the finer things, because even Target and Toys R Us are more appreciated now than before we left.  We look at life and relationships with open eyes.  It has taught us to appreciate those that love us and put those that aren't willing to put forth the effort aside.  It has also brought us so much closer to many - after all, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

And I think it is good for the kids to see that being away for now doesn't mean being away forever. And that their friends are still their friends, Target will remain standing and our family loves us no matter where we are.

So while I still have several entries to catch up on with people we've seen and things we've done so far, I felt this one needed it's own special entry, short as it is.  Because, yes, you can go home again.

Besos,
Julie

The Looong Trip Home (And Why Do I Do This Every Year?)

Aidan has a former teacher who is bicycling from Barcelona back to her home state of Oregon.  I think that while it will take her over a year to make it to her destination, I prefer her mode of travel over mine when going back to the States.  Yup, it is time for our annual pilgrimage back home to Boston.

Liam was understandably nervous all of this week leading up to the big day.  Not nervous about being in "Bosty" as he calls it, but nervous because he remembers that he vomited 11 times on the journey last year.  And hey, who can blame him - I was equally nervous for the same reason!!  But I was much more prepared for class this year with extra wipes, extra clothes and puke bags at the ready.

However, I didn't need them.  Nope, not one.  Ok, I used the wipes but that's only because he's a messy eater ;)  He was a superstar when it came to not puking on the whole trip.  I think it revitalized his love of travel.  However, it reminded me that at least when he's puking, he and Aidan aren't fighting which is what they did in all 3 airports we were in yesterday making for a looonngg trip home.

Here's the thing, as you probably know from previous posts, I hate to fly.  Like hate it.  It's strange because I used to just not like it but would deal with it, but progressively over the last year it has become a downright fear of flying.  I have no idea why.  I haven't experienced some horrific flight that has caused this.  But I really don't like to fly.  However, I do it because I won't let it stop me from living.  And normally when I fly just myself and the kids, I do pretty well because I have them to occupy my focus rather than on my fears.

But I can tell when I'm nervous because, like Aidan, I tend to act out and when I woke up on Tuesday morning, I was a total bear.  Lashing out at everyone and even telling the kids I had no desire to go home and that this was all for them.  Way to go right?  Proud mom moment there.  However, my guess is that I sparked an attitude in each of the kids and they became a bit on the moody side and fought the entire morning.

Instead of their usual excitement as we got to the airport I was faced with constant bickering and "he touched me, he punched me, he said something mean to me" battles.  Ahhhh, can't wait for this 16 hour day to get started!!!  The line in Barcelona airport to drop our baggage was probably the longest I've ever seen.  We were in the line for a good 45 minutes which is so not the norm.  However, it meant less waiting at the gate.  And in fact, we only waited about 15 minutes before we were able to board so at least the time went by quickly.

In Barcelona Airport, ready to go HOME!!

Puke free so far!!

We are going home!!

The flight from Barcelona to Amsterdam was uneventful.  I got a handle on my fears about 30 minutes into the flight and so no one was allowed to talk to me until then.  Ok, they could talk but they got laconic one word responses from me until I could get a grip on myself.  Why am I such a mess these days??  The kids were awesome on this flight - they watched their ipad and itouches and were perfectly content.

We landed a few minutes early in Amsterdam and for that I'm thankful.  I had flown into Amsterdam before but never connected there.  And I think this will be my only time (well except for our return flight of course) because it's a pain in the ass to travel thru.

While we only had an hour and a half to layover, we needed pretty much every moment of that despite the fact that it is a small airport.  I still say that Dublin is the best place to layover when traveling to Barcelona from Boston.  Heathrow you need at least 3 hours and Amsterdam was just difficult.  Why so?

First off, it's not well marked.  It took me a while to figure out where our connection was.  There was no master screen with all the flights and what terminals they were in.  You had to go to the start of each terminal to see where the flights were going.  I finally found a kiosk where you could enter in your info to figure out where you had to be.  But that was after a bit of walking before I found that.  We had to go thru customs, which is normal.  And for the first time I was asked where Mr. Marcus was - and thankfully he believed me (and why shouldn't he as I was telling the truth - but I'd heard once long ago that you should have a letter from the spouse giving permission to travel with underage kids out of the country and I did not have this letter from Josh).  He also asked if I had a visa to be in Spain and so I had to show him our Irish passports and thankfully brought copies of our NIEs (social security papers) with us.  Whew!!  That part was over, the rest should be easy, right?

Thankfully our gate was right after customs so in all, the walking we did thru the airport was less than 15 minutes unlike Heathrow where we need close to an hour to get from point A to point B.  However, at our gate there was a separate security screening where they pulled each passenger aside, inspected their passports, asked each passenger questions and THEN you still had to go thru security with your carryon AND go thru the xray machine AND every person was patted down.  I thought Heathrow was bad.  On the plus side, I felt pretty secure that if the plane were to go down, it wasn't going to be for security issues.

The kids of course, were acting out while in line.  An American couple actually spoke to them and said they should really listen to their mother.  I couldn't decide if I should be happy that they spoke up, thereby making my kids think twice (yeah ok) before acting out again since a stranger pointed out their behavior, or if this was a judgement on my (lack of) parenting skills.  Regardless, they continued on as is.  Fabulous.

So another thing I learned is that KLM is not as accommodating as British Air.  While technically seated all in a row on the plane, there was an aisle between myself and Liam and Aidan.  So Aidan was on his own in the middle section.  I told him this was good because both he and I got an aisle so we would both have lots of leg room and Liam wouldn't puke next to anyone since I would be the only one next to him.  However, that wasn't good enough for Aidan and so I asked like 5 different people between Barcelona and Amsterdam (I had realized this issue when doing the online check in the day before and even called KLM) and they basically said I just had to ask the people on the plane.  At least I felt good knowing it was a safe flight!!

In the end, there was a couple that was sitting in the 2 seats next to Aidan that agreed to change with myself and Liam.  And why shouldn't they?  They got a window and an aisle in exchange for 2 middle seats.  But somehow I still screwed myself despite taking one for the team and sacrificing my leg room.  Shortly after take off I leaned Liam's seat back only for the guy behind him to push it back up.  Um, excuse me?  I ignored it for the moment. But then I went to move mine and the woman (who was quite large) pushed my seat back.  Really?  She said they didn't have much legroom. Seriously does anyone in coach have legroom?  Why don't you pay for business class if you want legroom?  Not my problem. I did tell them I thought it was unfair that I pay for the seat and then can't put it back for the 7 hr flight.

And while I'm not a big believer in karma, I also was about to embark on a 7 hour flight across the ocean which I was already anxious about.  So not wanting bad karma, I sucked it up and left my seat upright but not without a look to them for ruining my flight.  Thanks to you old lady for the migraine I had the entire flight because I was unable to put my seat in a comfortable position...

We had only one other incident on an otherwise perfect flight (as far as the kids go).  The first 2 hrs were fine til I had to pee.  So I put my water on Liam's tray table and Aidan held his own as I climbed over him. That's when Liam decided he needed to get up too.  He was impatient and knocked my water all over my seat.  Then in the process of climbing over Aidan, bumped his too. Aidan of course let out a string of expletives only a mom could be proud of (yeah right) and hit Liam.  Awesome.  Just what I needed with almost 5 hrs left.  Thankfully they calmed down and the rest of the flight was fighting, tears and puke free.  However, during that moment of expletives spewing from my 9 year old's mouth, I was questioning why I torture myself year after year - not just with the kids but my gut wrenching fears. 

And as we arrived in Boston last night, I remembered.  The look of joy on both kids faces as they raced thru the concourse to get our luggage and to see Nana and Papa as they picked us up from the airport. To the look of happiness that I saw in Aidan that equals no other during the year.  As we drove home from the airport in 5 o'clock traffic, I did remember the pluses to living in Barcelona but as we neared my childhood home, I couldn't help but smile too... yeah, it's worth it.

Besos,

Julie

The Renter

Until Josh and I moved to Spain, it had been over 12 years since we had last been renters.  When we were 23 we bought our first home and never looked back.  So it was strange to be in a position where we wouldn't own the home we lived in while living in Spain.  But it was something that we knew we would adjust to over time.

Renting in the US is very different than renting in Spain.  I think it comes down to expectations.  In the US, I expect that for my dollar that I will get a certain quality, that there will be regular maintenance on the apartment/home, that the yard will be maintained, that appliances will work and that should there be a problem, the owner will take care of those issues.

In Spain, I set those same expectations only to find that in reality, renting here is not like renting at home.  First off, at home, the norm from a monetary standpoint is to ask for first, last and perhaps security if the renters look a little iffy.  Here in Spain, apparently there is a big concern for default or something because it's first, several months security and then what is called an aval or a reserve account that can be up to 6 months of your rent.  In the end for our new apartment, we fronted 5 months of rent. When we showed Josh's W-2 and contract the response of the new landlord was not that we were a low credit risk, but that we could afford to pay the aval and so therefore she would not waiver on it.

We have renters in both of our homes in the US.  We are most definitely absentee landlords since we can't be there if there is an issue.  However, we've worked it out with our tenants and so far things have been going smoothly, albeit a bump or two here and there.  But I think the difference between Josh and I (I can't say that this is the norm in the US because it probably isn't) is that our goal is that our tenants are HAPPY.  Happy tenants are paying tenants.  Something breaks, we immediately arrange for repair or work with our tenants to have it repaired at our cost.  This goes for appliances, heating/ac, yard maintenance, anything.  If it came with the house we accept it as our responsibility.  If it's yours, sorry, we can't help you there.  But if we provided it, we see it as our responsibility to fix.  Now, of course, if they broke something of ours, we would expect they would repair it, but I'm talking about things that happen from just general wear and tear.  For instance the tv stopped working in our cape house, turned out it needed a new bulb - we don't expect our tenants to pay for that.  However, if they threw a football thru the screen, that would be another issue....

In Spain, if it's not structural then the general consensus is that you pay for the cost of repair.  If my washing machine breaks, it's my responsibility to have it fixed.  If there is an electrical problem, then I need to fix it.  Our lock broke on our front door and I ended up out 300 euros to replace it, yes, ridiculous.  Just last week we had a leak with our hot water heater and I had to contact my realtor to find out if it was in fact our responsibility (because our landlord balked at the idea of paying and I wanted back up if she refused - she finally conceded.).  And our landlord couldn't really care less if we are happy or not as long as we are paying.  And we have no choice but to pay because the contracts in Spain are either long term or short term.  A short term is under 1 year.  A long term is 1-5 years.  Depending on the length of your contract, you are held to that amount and will need to pay out your contract no matter when you leave.  And speaking of leaving, giving notice is different too.  The norm at home is 30 days. Here the norm is 2-3 months!!

I expect after being away for a few years that there is going to be some general wear and tear in my house.  After all, it's been lived in.  When we do our walk through, I will take that into consideration. Here, we did a walk through in our old apartment and we left everything in near perfect condition with the exception of the walls which definitely needed a fresh coat of paint (they were white originally and well with boys and fingerprints, you can just imagine what they looked like after....).  Our landlord stated that all it needed was some paint and it would be fine - she would return all of our deposit back to us in full.  A month later, Josh was still emailing with her trying to get our second month back and then she came back with claims that the sofa had to be replaced, the oven was no longer usable (trust me, I don't cook much and it was brand new when we moved in - it worked perfectly fine) and painting of the entire apartment.  In the US this would not happen, we would have come to an agreement during the walkthrough and that agreement would be honored no matter what was found later.  You don't just go back on things because you decide later on that something is wrong.  You either state it right off, or not at all.  We lost a chunk of that second month because our landlord decided that she just didn't want to pay it back.

With this new (well, we've been here a year now, so not so new) apartment we are more hyper vigilant about leaving it the way we found it.  The kids broke a shelf today that we had installed in the wall in their playroom - something we'd eventually have to plaster over when we left - but they took out a chunk of wall with the anchors making it even more costly to repair.  The owner even supplied a CD of pictures.  However with 2 boys in the house, repairs could end up costly not to mention the amount we invested in the home to make it more livable (lights cerca 1970 are just not ok in my mind and had to be replaced).  It's frustrating knowing that a chunk of money is sitting out there that we will probably never see again despite the fact that we pay on time every single month and are responsible tenants.

It's just one more thing that makes life "interesting" here in Spain that I thought I would pass along.

Besos,
Julie