Weekend in the English Countryside with the Cousins!

Josh has a lot of family in England and Ireland and one of the advantages about us living in Europe has been being able to visit with them easier than we could when we lived Stateside.  During this time, we've become very close with Josh's cousin Fiona and her family in northern England.

Back in November, they met up with us in Edinburgh, Scotland - with the timing of events on their end and flights on ours, we only got one full day in, barely that.  And yet, they drove 4 hours to meet up with us.  It was a great chance for the kids to meet their cousins for the first time.  The best part was that they all hit it off immediately.

Our kids have no first cousins but embrace their extended family of mine and Josh's cousins.  Aidan, who takes a while to warm up, was laughing and joking with his cousins pretty quickly.  The bonus for him is that Eden and Angus are his age whereas his cousins on my side aren't even half his age.  I remember as a child being the oldest cousin as well and while it had it's positives, it could also be lonely.  I loved seeing him in his element with new family.

Because we had such a great time in Edinburgh, Fiona and I had been in touch trying to figure out another time we could all get together again, this time either in England or in Barcelona.  It was fun being in Edinburgh together but it didn't give the kids a whole lot of time or space to just run around and be kids when we were all staying in a hotel in the city.  Fiona and I finally figured out a weekend and with Josh meeting us there, the kids and I were off to Ripon, England!!

We flew into Leeds/Bradford and were whisked off to the English countryside by Colin.  It was a beautifully scenic 45 minute drive to their home in Ripon.  After a long, wet winter, everything was already getting green for springtime.  There were daffodils popping up and the fields were filled with sheep and their babies, cows and horses.  There is a reason England is one of my favorite countries and it isn't just because they speak my language.  The landscape here is just stunning at every turn. Unfortunately as we were driving, I didn't take any pictures of the scenery so you'll just have to take my word on it's beauty.

As we drove into Ripon, I remembered how when we were in Edinburgh, Fiona said if I loved Edinburgh then I would definitely love Ripon.  And she was right.  For a city, it's incredibly small, in fact it is the 4th smallest city in England.  Only about 20,000 people live here.  It gets it's city status from the Cathedral in the center of town.  The streets are narrow but not as narrow as others I've seen throughout our travels, but just narrow enough to make them quaint but not so narrow that you wonder how in the world this can possibly be a two way street when one car can barely fit down it!  You can tell that this is a city that has been around for a long, long time. As Fiona told me later, the smaller the bricks, the older the building.  And I saw a lot of small bricks.

In fact, the city of Ripon (located in Yorkshire) dates back 1300 years.  And while you can feel the history all around you, at the same time, the city is filled with beautiful shops and restaurants and it seems that no modern amenity is difficult to find.  Something that has been a challenge for us in Barcelona!

Upon arriving at their house, the kids were a little nervous to see their cousins again.  But not to worry, within moments, they were laughing and playing as though it had just been hours instead of months since they last saw each other.  Angus and Eden are not just the loveliest and most well mannered kids that I know, they are incredibly social and make you feel like a part of the group instantly.  They are such a pleasure to be around and were full of kind things to say and lots of hugs.  I feel like they are our surrogate niece and nephew, it just feels that comfortable with them.  Eden was definitely my BFF for the weekend and I loved every moment -  I love that I'm getting to know her better and spend some quality time with her.  

While the kids played, Fiona, Colin and I caught up on life.  Josh wasn't flying in until Saturday morning.  Eventually Fiona and I went into Ripon do a little touring around and to pick up dinner - fish and chips.  Yes, totally traditional English meal.  I'm not a huge fan of fish, but figured I'd get chicken. Only Aidan took a look at the fish (he's not always a fan of fried) and decided he wanted the chicken. So I had to take one for the team only I really didn't end up having to as it was delicious... more so than I anticipated.  Of course, it's hard to mess up anything fried, but even still, it was delectable and I can totally see myself eating it again.

Everyone stayed up late the first night and once again it says something about the openness of this family because there was never a moment with awkward silence or without something interesting to say.  I could have stayed up all night just talking away.  But as we had plans for Saturday and Josh was flying in, the conversations would have to wait til morning!!

After Colin picked up Josh from the airport, Fiona and I ran into Ripon again to do a little looking around in the daylight hours.  I got to check out the Cathedral and a few of the little shops before we stopped to pick up lunch - steak and chicken bakes, essentially a chicken or steak pot pie in a flaky hand held pastry.  Yeah, it was delicious too!!   The pictures below are all of the city center of Ripon.

After our yummy lunch, we drove 45 minutes to York.  As in the original and not "New" as Liam thought we were going to when we mentioned York ;)  And if I thought Ripon had some history, enter York at just about 2000 years old (founded in 71 AD).  Yeah, 2000 years old.  Talk about history.  But for all it's history, I was drawn to York for one reason - The Gap.  Seriously.  We don't have one in Barcelona - I'm not even sure if there is one in Spain, but definitely not one within any reasonable driving distance from here.

Ready to rock n roll to York for the day...

So we did a casual tour around York - no particular aim in mind (that I'm aware of), just wandering around and taking in the sights.  And of course, going to the Gap - despite only bringing carry on baggage for this trip, I made sure we would have ample room for our purchases!  This is a beautiful city full of history and adorable streets filled with equally adorable shops.  We saw a lot of candy shops and confectionaries including some fabulous fudge (unheard of in Spain).  Upon my research after the fact, it turns out that at one point in time, York was known for it's confections.  You learn something new every day!  It is also home to the shortest street in England with the longest name!

Not sure what this is but it was at the top of a hill that was covered in daffodils - it looks like perhaps it was a lookout tower.

The boys!

We start our walk thru York

Beautiful old buildings

We especially liked the sheep being hung over the door

Chocolate heaven??  Why yes it is!!

We saw a lot of statues of cats - not sure of the symbolism of them but there were enough to see it's a trend of some kind.

What you can't see is that this "dog" is actually holding his leg up to "pee" on the pole next too him.  Notice the look on Aidan's face!

Watching how fudge is made

Every city we go to has these human statues - the kids never get tired of it... and this guy was great!

Odd devil statue

Awww so cute - Liam and Angus are adorable ... but then Aidan photobombed the next one!

Fiona, Eden and Julie

Another human statue kind of deal only this "Yoda" was "floating" somehow.  The kids figured it out (there was a pole going thru his cane and thru his pant leg to a platform he was sitting on) and had fun trying to solve the mystery!

This was near The Gap - my happy place :)

yoga bunny detox???

This is the shortest street in England with the longest name - see the description below...

After a fun afternoon in York we headed back to Ripon.  The kids ran and played outside which they needed!  By evening they were spent!  And for dinner, the most amazing meatballs ever!  The secret ingredient?  Apples!  I need to make them and think I could actually attempt to do so based on the somewhat simple recipe that Fiona told me (though going to need a refresher on that recipe!).  With Josh now with us, we had yet another late night chatting which was so great!!

Aidan's new thing is photobombing... 

I know this pic is out of proportion with the rest of the day in York but it was too pretty to not blow up a bit bigger than the rest.  Ahhhh the beauty of sunset in the English countryside!

Four very tired kids...

We were up early on Sunday with a busy day ahead of us.  After a proper English breakfast, we headed into Ripon because there are shops open on Sundays here.  Woo hoo!  We don't get that in Barcelona.  And it's taken us a long time to get used to and while we definitely like it now that we have to just chill out and relax on a Sunday afternoon, when we are on vacation it's nice to have stores open the entire time you are visiting!  However, that doesn't mean that all the stores were open and Eden was especially disappointed to not be able to show me one of her favorite shops - I guess that means we'll have to go back to Ripon one of these days!!

After doing a little shopping, we went to Fountains Abbey.  I think this was by far the best part of the trip (aside from visiting with our family of course!).  Green grass as far as the eye can see.  Words nor pictures can accurately describe the beauty of this park.  Set amongst fields and woods with a small river running alongside the ruins of an Abbey that dates back to the 1100s and walking trails everywhere.  Not only was this the perfect place for the kids to just run and run and run some more, but it's a photographer's dream.  The lighting was beautiful and we were lucky to have a sunny day.  The kids made up games, climbed on the ruins, ran some more and just had a great time!  The smiles on their faces were priceless!  This is what our kids need more of and no matter where we land for our next home, I think it's time to move out of the city and into the burbs where we can get more time like this. Though it will be hard to top Fountains Abbey for sure!

Cousins united!

Action shot!

That's part of the Abbey behind Liam

What is it with boys and sticks??

Ready, set, go!!

Running across the field - full of energy!

The Abbey

Another view

Little river that flows amongst the ruins

Tiny waterfall

I love how the river runs right alongside the ruin

Happy kids getting to run around

How high can you climb? (answer: not far)

A good place to hide while playing hide n seek

Run!!

Cousins

Great cousin picture!

Aside from great lighting, I love that the river is running alongside the ruin again

This would be an awesome family pic if it weren't for the bunny ears Aidan is giving me (and is doing in all the other pictures we took!)

Planning out a new game

The new game involves running a lot!

Aidan so happy!  And Eden and Liam as well!

Off to chase Eden and Liam!

Headlock!

Such a beauty!

Selfie!

Another great cousin shot!

After running around for a bit, we started to make our way back to the car.  But no park is complete unless you've hit the playground too!

We headed back to the house for yet another fabulous meal made by Fiona before Josh had to head to the airport around 3:30.  As he left, Eden and I went into town to do some shopping - a girl after my own heart :)  Our first stop was the grocery store where I bought absolutely nothing of any healthy redeeming value - but that I couldn't get in Barcelona.  And then we did a little clothes shopping,  my new favorite store now being Fat Face.

The kids were in bed at a normal time on Sun as Fiona had her radio show and quite honestly, they were all very obviously tired.  School for Fiona's kids on Monday and the boys and I just chilled out til we had to head to the airport around 12:30.  Colin took Liam's puking in his car incredibly well - and for that I'm thankful!!  It's not a good time unless Liam throws up at least once!!

The best part of the trip?  Well, there were so many that it's hard to pin down.  I love that the kids all bonded.  I love that the whole weekend I felt like we were with old friends rather than family that we've hung out with on the rare occasion (and only the 2nd time for the kids).  I loved the beauty of the city but also of the countryside.  I really loved it all.  But my favorite part?  It was such a great time that while we were hanging out on Saturday night, Colin and Fiona booked a trip with the kids to come and see us in Barcelona over the Easter break.  We are all so excited to get to show them our home!! Something to look forward to in just a matter of weeks!

Besos,
Julie

The Sweetest (and yet most "violent") Festival - Sant Medir 2014

I can't believe this is our 4th round of holidays now.  I remember the first Sant Medir.  We were living over on c/Ventallo and Liam wasn't quite 3 yet so he was still home with me full time.  I was in my office which was at the front of the apartment and I thought I heard hoofs clomping outside.  I took a look and my street, a street in the middle of a city, was full of horses!!  What?????

It wasn't til my babysitter came later that morning that I found out what was going on.  It was the festival of Sant Medir, or the sweetest festival.  A day filled with horses, batucada, floats (I use this term loosely) and lots and lots of hard candies being thrown to the crowds all around.

I love this holiday.  I'm not sure what it is about it, but I love it.  Everyone here gets in to it - young and old alike.  You'll see people along the streets during the day with umbrellas tipped upside down to catch the candy being thrown from the floats.  Everyone is in a celebratory mood and how can you not be when candy is being "tossed" at you as the floats drive by.

I love that here in the middle of the city there are horses and bands randomly crisscrossing the neighborhood.  Traffic stops and the horses and floats continue along their way.  Each colla (group) marching down a different street, putting smiles on peoples' faces. Perhaps even taking out an eye or two along the way with the candy being hurled from the floats.

I wandered around a little bit during the daytime while running my errands, taking a few photos and video along the way.

Horses along Travessera de Gracia

And a marching band

This is a typical "float" for the Sant Medir festivities

A quick video of one of the daytime parades:  http://youtu.be/Mj5gahhCszc

In the evening, the kids and I went down to Gran de Gracia where the big parade would be finishing up.  They were a little on the punchy side and it meant being out well past bedtime.  But we had a great time watching the batucada and they would run up to the floats yelling "aquí, aquí!!"  We only lasted about 45 minutes before they were done.  But they were happy with the outcome and both came home with a bag full of candies.

Waiting for the festivities to begin

Eating a healthy carrot before he starts to eat his body weight in candy

I thought these horses were just gorgeous!

Waiting to catch some candy

Batucada

Mmmm candy!

Throwing candy from the floats

Horse tattoo?

Ready and waiting for the candy to land in their bags

A few videos of the night: http://youtu.be/QSsrOKzV0Wg and http://youtu.be/VFOQo69qBfc

It was a fun day / night and one more festival to check off on the books.  Looking forward to Sant Jordi in a few weeks - my absolute favorite holiday here!!!

Besos,
Julie

500 Posts Later

Tonight I was looking thru some old posts that I'd written when we first embarked on this journey.  As I was looking thru, I happened to see something in the menu that caught my eye.  I've posted 499 entries since this journey began in the summer of 2009.  This, my friends, is my 500th post.  Have I really written 500 posts???  I really can't believe it.  From the good, the bad and the ugly, I've somehow managed to find 500 (at least semi) different things to write about in the last 4 1/2 years.  And I think I've got at least another 15 in the hopper that I haven't finished.

I didn't expect to be writing this blog for as long as I have.  But then, I also thought we'd only be gone for 2 years so I didn't expect to have as many experiences as we have had to share with all of you. When I look back at where we were as a family and as individuals 4 1/2 years ago to where we are now, I can honestly say we are different people.  Perhaps same at the core but this experience has changed our outlook on our lives forever.  We will never look at life the same way as we did from our pre expat days.

And I'm glad I kept a record of it.  All 500 posts about it so far.  It's been an amazing journey filled with ups, downs, twists and turns and so many surprises.  And while there are moments where we've just wanted to throw in the towel, we push on and come out on top.  This will be a record that our kids can look back on and see what our lives here were like from a different perspective than seeing it thru a child's eyes.

I also never expected writing to be so cathartic.  There have certainly been times where I have to push myself to write at least every 2 weeks in order to stay on top of it for fear that once I let it go, it will be done forever.  Some posts have come more naturally than others.  Though I've learned that once I get the urge to write, I need to just pump the whole thing out otherwise it will sit in draft mode (hence the 15 in hopper) forever.  But overall, when I get into writing mode, it just feels good.  Putting my emotions out there isn't always easy and there have been moments where I've bit my tongue for fear of saying too much, but overall what you've read is what has happened.

So this is just a short and sweet entry to say thanks for reading for the last 4 1/2 years - for "listening" to me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, to help me celebrate the victories, and to reinforce that this was, in fact, a smart choice for us to make.  There's still more to come but I'm excited to know that I've hit such a big benchmark.  Now on to the next 500!!

Besos,
Julie

BFIS Carnaval 2014

Once again, the Carnaval at school is as close to the real thing that I got this year.  A good friend invited me to go to the one down in Sitges (which is supposed to be unreal!) but I just couldn't motivate myself to get a sitter and get out, especially knowing that I was the one who had to still get the kids up and out first thing Monday morning as Josh was already back in Amsterdam for the week.  But speaking of Josh being in Amsterdam, one of the (ok, pretty much the only plus) of him being away is that he works from home on Fridays.  For the first time since we've lived in Barcelona...actually for the first time since our kids have been in school... he is able to go to school events held during the day.  So he was actually able to get to school for the Carnaval festivities.

As usual, the entertainment started off with a batucada getting us into the party spirit.  And this year, the batucada included one of the BFIS teachers which was a bonus.  It was fun seeing a different side of her that was outside of school!!

The batucada - probably one of my favorite things about living in Barcelona!

Ms. Chloe is standing on the right with the big drum!

A little video of the batucada:   http://youtu.be/PidUS4Lc4t8

Liam's class were dressed as Ancient Egyptians as they have just spent the last several weeks studying Ancient Egypt.  Liam, who is the family entertainer, still hasn't seemed to find his comfort zone when surrounded by a crowd and looks a little lost in this video.

My little Egyptian

Liam's class doing their parade around the court

"Trying" to walk like Egyptians

Video of Liam's class doing their parade:  http://youtu.be/mclzVvpkFKE

Aidan's class were zombies.  Aidan has been waiting and waiting for 4th grade since they always do a performance - this one was to I Will Survive.  And while he still wasn't super excited about the idea of performing, he did it with the rest of his class and even (yes!) dressed up!  Dressing up took some convincing on my end, but he did it nonetheless.  I think they look awesome and did such a great job!!!

Aidan is center right in all black (with orange/blue sneakers)

I will survive!

Aidan is right behind the kid in the white tee in the front center

So proud that Aidan's class is doing this - such fun!!

Racing to the finish!

Aidan's very cool class performance of I Will Survive:  http://youtu.be/qkC84w5PKV8

And just for fun, I'm throwing in the 5th grade performance in case you are curious.  They did a performance to What Does the Fox Say?  Somehow Josh has never heard this song before Carnaval - he obviously has not been living in our house for the last several months!!  Either that or he's tuned it out!  http://youtu.be/glPm4y9SFys

All in all a fun day with the kids.  Once again though, I'm saddened by the fact that next year it's unlikely we'll be here at BFIS and we will miss all these wonderful performances and events that the school puts on that truly makes you feel like a part of the community.  Until then though, we will enjoy each and every one of them and look forward to my favorite, Sant Jordi, coming up in April!

Besos,
Julie

Learning About Loss

There are times when I debate whether a moment in our lives here is appropriate to share with the world.  The lines of blogging can be a bit blurred.  Somethings can be just a little too personal and at the same time, these are the moments that mold us into the people we will become - whether good or bad.  And in this journey of ex-pat life, so many events have impacted our lives.  Loss is one of them and has come in several forms.

We all suffer from loss through out our lives in different ways.  Loss of a home (or country).  Loss of identity (common for expats), loss of friendships and more.  But worst of all is the loss of a life. It's a painful lesson that everyone learns - no one is exempt no matter where you live or who you know.  

This year my boys have had to learn first hand what it means to lose people from your life (but not your hearts). We've been lucky thus far that beyond the loss of our dog Sailor 3 1/2 years ago, that they had not needed to learn what it means to have someone gone forever.  They lost 3 of their great-grandparents before Aidan was even 4 (Liam was 1) - an age where not only did they not understand the concept of death, but also could not comprehend the idea of forever and honestly have limited memories of them beyond pictures.  But the last 6 months alone have been filled with these losses and it breaks my heart watching them process what death means. 

Jake's (our beloved dog) death in August hit us all pretty hard.  Liam still talks about him at least once a week.  Aidan is one who keeps his feelings in check and is often very emotionally reserved.  On occasion he will tell us that he misses Jake.  The day Jake died, I could see the pain in Aidan's eyes - he was upset because when we left for vacation he had not said goodbye to Jake and now would not have that opportunity ever again.  Jake taught us what unconditional love means.  

Then in October my last grandparent passed away.  We weren't close.  Aidan hadn't seen him since he was 2 and Liam had never met him.  It did not impact them.  Nor did I expect it to.

A few weeks ago, a beloved teacher at the boys' school passed away.  She was in her mid 60s and taught nursery school.  Liam knew her as he started BFIS in nursery and while she wasn't his teacher, with only about 25 kids in all of nursery at that time, they often spent time together as a group for recess, lunch, etc. The campus was stunned by her passing.  Being an international school it's normal for not just the students to come and go but also for the staff.  But Ms. Peggy had been at the school for years and was a fixture there.  She knew everyone.  She always had a kind word and a smile.  She was full of energy. She was full of ... life.

I didn't know Ms. Peggy beyond the occasional wave and "how are you doing?" and yet when I heard of her passing, I was shocked and emotionally raw.  These things just don't happen at BFIS.  Right? Aidan didn't know her well either but when his soccer coach called for a moment of silence before their soccer game in her honor (her passing had not yet been announced to the kids unknown to him at that time), you could see the shock in his eyes.  And I heard him stage whisper "Ms. Peggy died??".  

He didn't cry.  He didn't believe it either.  He made me read the email that came from the school.  He was adamant that he had seen her that morning.  I assured him that he had not seen her that morning as she had passed that morning.  

Liam's reaction, that of a typical 6 year old.  "That's so sad.  But she was old.  Old people die."  Very to the point.  He didn't have that emotional attachment.  Nor did I expect him to.  He's only 6.

Neither of them wanted to attend the memorial service and I didn't want to push it.  It wasn't that they didn't care, it just didn't impact them in the way that it did for other people.  This has to be something that they are comfortable with.  If they weren't feeling the loss the same way as others, why make a sad situation worse by intensifying the emotions in a room full of mourning people? 

Again, that was just a few weeks ago.  This afternoon, right around noon, I received a call from the head of school.  He told me that something had happened at the school.  I immediately thought something happened to one of the boys.  Thankfully they were ok but what he told me caught me completely off guard.  He told me that Mr. Stone, Aidan's co-teacher, had passed away unexpectedly this morning.

It wasn't until after this news that I really gave some thought on just how much impact teachers have on our children.  Yes, they teach them; they guide them.  But beyond that.  They are with them more hours per day then they are with us.  When I think of how well my children know myself and Josh and vice versa and then I look at how few hours they spend with us compared to their teachers... well, do the math.  These teachers have a huge impact on our children above and beyond their education.  They help to shape the people they will some day become.  

Mr. Stone was new at BFIS this year.  I didn't know him well but he seemed like a very nice guy.  He was young, only 26.  I knew his parents had been out to visit him over the winter break from Ohio.  I knew he wasn't sure if he was going to stay beyond the one year as he missed his family.  But I also knew that this is a teacher that Aidan adores.  You see, not only was he the co-teacher in his class, but he was also Aidan's private tutor once a week.  

When I first suggested a tutor to Aidan he was absolutely against the idea.  But after his first session with Mr. Stone, he was a changed kid.  Suddenly homework was no longer painful in our house (ok, except for the occasional outburst).  He became more independent with his school work.  Aidan looked forward to these sessions with Mr. Stone every week.  There was a week when a soccer game was scheduled for the same day and he was so worried that he would miss his weekly session with Mr. Stone that he was willing to sacrifice his soccer game so that he could meet with him.  Mr. Stone had an impact on Aidan's life.  And when you meet someone who has an impact in your life, no matter how old you are - you remember that.  And when they leave your life - you won't forget that either.

This is Aidan's first true loss.  And he is devastated.  And he is so young that it breaks my heart.  I remember my first loss of a loved one.  I was probably about his age give or take a year.  It was my great uncle Wally.  I will never forget the feelings of sadness when my parents told me he had died. And it was at that age that I became aware of my own mortality, my parents mortality and the mortality of those all around me.  That's a pretty scary feeling for a kid.  Emotions that I'm sure are running thru Aidan's head right now.

I picked the boys up at school expecting Aidan to be highly emotional.  At the same time, I know him and he doesn't wear his emotions on his sleeve.  When I picked him up he just kind of shrugged his shoulders and was like, no big deal.  I knew that wasn't true and it pained me to see that he felt he had to hide his feelings.  He told me that they wrote letters and drew pictures in class and that his picture had the two of them together with the words "best friends forever".  Yeah, the tears were streaming down my own face at that one.  

The moment we got into the car, he broke down.  Tears welling up and crying his little heart out.  I never want to see my children in pain but in a way it warmed my heart to see that he could allow himself to be emotional since I know it's not something that comes easily to him.  Liam, being the compassionate brother he is, just reached out and said "I'm really sorry Aidan".  I don't think I could have asked for more in that situation.

We got home and we gave Aidan some space.  He was highly emotional and we could hear him crying but he didn't want to be with anyone.  I tried talking with him but he needed to be alone.  I had no choice but to respect that.  After Liam went to bed, I offered to let Aidan stay up with me for a bit to talk about it.  He didn't want to talk but just laid on my lap and cried.  He wouldn't let me rub his head or back... he just needed my presence to comfort him but I felt so helpless to guide him thru this moment.  

Tomorrow he goes back to school, or at least that is the plan for the moment.  I think he's going to get the best support there and being with his friends and other teachers will be good for him.  But if he's not up for it, then we will play it by ear.  I know that the school will have the best support available.  I also know that they will plan a memorial of some kind for Mr. Stone.  Aidan has already told me he would very much like to attend.  

I cannot imagine the grief that Mr. Stone's parents must be going thru right now.  Mr. Stone was a mere 26 years old.  I may never get the chance to meet them, but I hope I get the opportunity some day to let them know that their son, while taken too young from this world, had an impact on at least one student. One student who looked up to him.  One student who will remember him forever.  

The next several days are going to be tough.  The community will grieve.  Aidan will continue to grieve as well.  It will take some time for normalcy to resume.  But we will come together and get thru this together.  And we will learn from this untimely loss - we must live life every day to it's fullest because we never know when it might be our last.  And if I know Aidan, he will continue to work hard because he knows it would make Mr. Stone proud.  

Besos and our deepest sympathies to the Stone family,

Julie