The Brits "Invade" Barcelona.... The Cousins Come to Visit!

The last 6 1/2 months have been anything but easy for our family.  But for the next few months, we have a lot to look forward to.  Aside from spring having made it's arrival in Barcelona, and there is little better than spring in Barcelona, we have a lot of visitors lined up for the next 6 weeks.  And while it means less travel for us, after traveling at the pace we have been for the last 4 1/2 years, it's a welcome relief to have visitors coming our way.  First up, our cousins from England!

For a family who hasn't been able to get our shit together to visit each other during the first four years of our time living in Europe, we've now managed to see our British cousins, not once, not twice, but now three times in the last 6 months and in a word, it's been awesome!  Hanging with them is just so easy, so relaxed and so much fun and I wish we'd done it sooner.

When we were visiting with them back in March, they decided to plan a visit to see us during the April break.  It made saying goodbye a whole lot easier that weekend knowing they would be here in just 4 short weeks.  The kids talked non-stop about "the cousins" coming to visit.  We had an über busy few days planned with them and as I type this, I'm sitting on the couch where I don't plan to leave for the next 24 hours.

As "the cousins" didn't arrive until late Monday night, Aidan had a sleepover Sunday into Monday. They were in bed late and up very early (like 5:45 early...though in Aidan's defense, I did hear him say to his friend "I'm going back to bed, but here's some books if you'd like to read").  Given the intensity of the week, that might have been a mistake in hindsight as the kids have yet to be in bed before 10:30 any night this week.

We had 3 full days and totally different activities planned for each of those days.  A day doing an intense tour of Barcelona.  A day in Collioure, France.  And finally, a day in Sitges, a small beach town about 30 minutes south of Barcelona.  We covered a little bit of everything.  Early days, late nights and meals on the go, but it was worth every moment!!

Barcelona day of insanity!

We started the day off early with a tour to Sagrada Familia.  Now, I should probably also note that a few of the things that we did on Tuesday neither Josh nor the kids had done either.  Given that we are likely leaving Barcelona in the next few months, it was a great opportunity for them to see those places and it would have been a shame to say that we lived here all that time and they never got to see some of these world famous places.

Thankfully we ordered our tickets for Sagrada Familia online since I have yet to not see a long line outside the famous basilica.  Unfortunately, I didn't order them far enough in advance and all the audio tours were sold out.  This was fine because the kids really didn't have the patience to get thru the audio tour anyways.

We went up to the top of the towers to see the outstanding views of the city and worked our way back down.

Aidan and Liam waiting to get into Sagrada Familia

Cousins re-united!  Liam, Angus, Aidan and Eden

At the top of the tower

Fiona and Angus near the top and Liam and Angus back at the bottom...

The way the light was coming thru the stained glass was amazing!

Sagrada Familia museum

After the Sagrada Familia we took a little time to play on the playground

Liam has become quite the monkey these days and was swinging back and forth over and over again

Angus gives it a try...

After Sagrada Familia we were off to Casa Batlló, yet another Gaudi creation.  And again, a location neither Josh nor the boys had been to before.  On our way there, in what would not be the last time this week, we lost Liam.  It was a bit of a panicked moment as Passeig de Gracia is incredibly busy street, full of locals and tourists alike.  It was hard to see thru the crowds to try to find him.  Thankfully he hadn't gone far (he had been off in his own world and did not see us stop and had continued on ahead) but it was still a few minutes of panic wondering where he had gone and how we were going to find him.  

While the kids didn't have a great attention span here either, it was definitely better than when we were at Sagrada Familia.

Waiting to go into Casa Batlló

Selfie :)

Eden and Julie

Angus inside Casa Batlló

Family shot!  Josh, Liam, Aidan, Angus, Fiona, Eden and Julie

Selfie again :)

Hanging out on the roof

After Casa Battló, we had a great lunch at our favorite tapas place, Ciudad Condal.  It's touristy but has some of the best tapas.  Of course, in typical Spanish fashion, our 20 minute wait was well over an hour.  But it was worth it an full kids are happy kids!

We took the rest of the afternoon to wander around the city.  Placa Catalunya, Las Ramblas, La Boqueria, el Born and la Gotica.  Eventually the kids had enough though and we took the metro down to the beach which is where they really wanted to go!

Walking thru the Gothic

Placa Catalunya

Julie and Angus

Just the boys

Blowing big bubbles

Spelling out the letters "Barcino" the old name for Barcelona

Aidan and Eden on the climber at the beach

Collioure, France

We love Collioure.  It's a must see when we have friends and family in town.  Just two hours north of Barcelona, along the Mediterranean coast, Collioure is the epitome of what you think of when you think old world Europe.  And with Fiona, Angus and Eden all speaking French, they were super excited for the visit there.

We took the kids thru the castle, ate at Creperie Bretonne (my favorite) and walked all around town. The weather, while a bit on the breezy side, was beautiful with a clear blue sky that would be hard to match anywhere.  The kids laughed and ran and played.  Really, it doesn't get much better than this!

Hanging on the castle wall... and Liam in a pouty moment...

Getting ready to skip rocks into the water

Eden, Fiona and Angus

My baby isn't much of a baby any more... before I know it, he's going to be as tall as me!

Walking into town

Yummy lunch!

Running to the castle

Aidan and Eden

Angus, Aidan and Eden

Aidan and Fiona

Inside the castle

On top of the castle wall

The big boys

View from the castle

Happy kids

Throwing stones

Do these kids take great pictures or what?

Sitges, Spain

Another one of our favorite places to show people when they visit is Sitges.  And bonus for our Sitges day, Aidan's friend Luca was in town from Stockholm and staying in Stiges so we got to see him and his brother Roan and my friends Saskia as well.  We took the train down to Sitges, just about 40 mins south of Barcelona.  We walked past the Cathedral down to the boardwalk and walked for about 20 minutes to meet up with Saskia and the kids.

Getting psyched for the beach!

More pictures???

The kids all immediately ran for the water.  Personally, I think crazy.  It was maybe 65F out, not exactly swimming weather.  Well, unless you are a kid.  Apparently it was swimming weather for them. The adults, meanwhile, just relaxed at the churinguito (beach bar) and chatted the day away.  It was a mellow, fun day for all.  And full of some good laughs too...especially when Fiona came back from the porta potty telling us about how a couple had just walked out of it sheepishly.  Who does it in a porta potty??  Ewww!!  But it made us laugh incredibly hard!!!

The kids all had so much fun on the beach.  Whether tossing the football around, exploring the rocks or building sand castles, the kids all got along fabulously and played hard all day.

The whole brood in the water!

Happy to be on the beach!

Aidan and Luca

Aidan, Luca and Angus playing football

Eden and Liam had a great time building sand castles

Eden and Liam

Aidan and Luca

Bamboo sticks were washing up on the shore - all the kids were determined to collect as many as they could.  Liam considered himself to be Gandalf (Lord of the Rings) with his stick.

Aidan and Luca

The end of the day... still all smiles!

Liam and Roan chatting away (a note here that they were too shy to play with each other the entire day but when the day ended they were sudden BFF's)

The day was a blast and we didn't make it back home til after 9.  We had to stop of ice cream before we even left Sitges.  And like our first day, this was also the day we lost Liam AGAIN.  Crowded streets + Liam's world = trouble.  And trouble he is.  When we found him, he knew that once again he hadn't been paying attention and that while we were very happy we had found him (of course), we were not happy that once again his lack of focus meant we lost him.  His excuse (and clever at that) was that we were not going the correct way (not true) to the train station and so he was going the right way.  Uh huh... nice try.

Ice cream!!!

All in all though, it was a fun, fun 3 days with our family and friends.  We were very sad to see them leave and look forward to our next reunion, hopefully in June!!!  And it was great to see Saskia, Luca and Roan as well - hopefully we'll see them again soon too!!!

Besos,
Julie

On a More Positive Note...

My last post was negative. No getting around it. We all have bad days (weeks, months, etc).  It doesn't matter where you live whether your home country or abroad.  Bad days happen.  But those days are just there to make us appreciate the good ones. 

Like my other posts, I find this one cathartic.  Even more so than some of the others because it's at this time of uncertainty where I need to remind myself of all the once in a lifetime, amazing things we have experienced over the last 4+ years.  Sure those experiences came at a price but I don't for a moment have regrets on us having taken this journey. 

So without further ado, here are a few of my more positive things, in no particular order, to say about our lives here in Barcelona and I think they far outweigh the negative ones from the other day:

1. Our kids are truly third culture kids and have become global citizens.  They are friends with kids from all over the world. Their school is comprised of kids from 40 different countries.  There are only 3 American kids in Liam's class including him - it is a diverse group.  They are being immersed into cultures daily.  They have become more independent because of this experience and despite living in a city, have more freedoms than I would allow them in the US.  In addition, this is really the only life that Liam knows, having been only 2 when we moved here - this is home to him. And Aidan isn't much far behind, having lived here almost half of his life now - he loves it and has a great group of friends. When we travel they understand and respect the differences of cultures in each place and ask great inquisitive questions.  They also understand that this is a very unique experience that the majority of their peers at home will never have.   Aidan is at a point where if English is spoken it's a bonus but he likes hearing other languages.

2.  Speaking of languages, our kids now speak more than one, something essential in this day and age. While not totally fluent, they are getting close, especially Aidan (who also has an amazing accent). Even tonight they boys were chatting in Spanish - it wasn't a lot but it was still enough to know that they are getting it and it's sinking in.  I've asked Aidan how he would feel if we left here and he said "I'll miss all the Spanish and Catalan everywhere - just seeing English would be boring."  Wherever we end up, we will hire a tutor so that they don't lose this gift.  And while I'm not fluent, I'm pretty conversational and this has also helped when we have traveled to other romantic language speaking places as I am able to use my fairly solid base to help me interpret menus, directions and more. Josh... Well let's leave him off the language piece ;)

3.  But Josh gets big credit for all that he's done here at work.  He put together an international team of developers.  He was a key member of the executive leadership team, leading directives that would help define the BCN office.  And let's not forget that he not only was a key player in the acquisition of Albumprinter but has also become their interim CTO.  He has proven himself time and time again that he is a leader.  And he has also shown amazing adaptability  (something I have struggled with) with each culture, office and the team players - an attribute that does not come naturally to most. 

4.  This city is beautiful.  And while it provides certain daily challenges, if I am to be challenged, this is a beautiful place to do it in. You can't beat the climate. Mild winters, almost no rain and hot summers (though stay away in August!!).  And a beach only a few metro stops away or a 3 mile walk.  We are able to be outside every day and we are even if it is just walking down the street to the grocery store. There is something about breathing in the fresh air (albeit city air vs country air) that makes you feel renewed.  And to be surrounded by such stunning architecture at every corner - it's breathtaking.  In addition, we are lucky to have the works of master architect Antoni Gaudi all around.  It is a very clean city to top it off - outside of Switzerland I don't think I've seen anything this clean for a city. 

5.  Speaking of walking places, I'm going to get fat when we go back to the US because I've become so accustomed to walking everywhere.  Everyday I walk.  We managed 3 years without a car and while it had it's challenging moments, we never once regretted choosing to live without.  And even now we only use our ONE car for picking up from school, getting to play dates and events and the occasional trip outside the city.  In a year and a half we have put only 6200 miles on it.  I do almost triple that in the States. There are not many cities that are so easily walkable, have great public transportation or the climate to enable you to be outside most every day. Try to picture walking the streets of Boston with your granny cart thru 2 feet of snow!!

6.  Shopping. Ok I mean grocery shopping because all other shopping is rather expensive. But groceries are not. And while I may complain about having to go to 5 different stores for my groceries, there is also an old world charm that I'm appreciative of. I love that when I go to the butcher shop, his speciality is cured meats, cheeses and some other small items.  He is an expert in his area.  Same with my fruit and veggie vendors.  Hell I have a guy I go to just for bananas because they are always the yellowest of any if the competition. And they all know me - they don't know my name but because of the small town feel, even in a city, people have a local corner guy they go to for these things.  They always remember what I order and ask questions about the kids, our lives, etc.

The grocery store has the basics. There are no toys or books or other items. It is groceries, some cleaning items and a small selection of hygiene items. That is it. And your choices are limited. There are not 50 kinds of cereal. There are 10-15. Who needs to choose from 50 cereals?  Our grocery store is smaller than your local CVS.  It takes me less than 10 min to get what I need and get out.  And the ultimate bonus is that the majority (certainly not all) is preservative free.  Nothing I buy, unless it's canned or boxed (like cookies) lasts more than a few days - you will not find strawberries in my refrigerator from 2 weeks ago still looking as red as the day I bought them.

7.  Travel.  I could go on and on about travel.  And I may.  We have done a ridiculous amount of travel. We have traveled at a minimum every 6 weeks, at times even more frequently, like every 2-4 weeks depending on the kids' school schedule.  With only 2 more trips planned in the next few months as we likely wind down our time here in BCN, I feel like we have only covered the tip of the iceburg with so many more places out there left to be seen.  Thanks to low cost airlines like RyanAir, Vueling and EasyJet, we've jet-setted to locations that others dream of for pennies.  Like 21€ to Ibiza (yes that was roundtrip), 40€ to Budapest, 50€ to Lucerne and so on.  With prices like that, how can you not travel as much as possible?  We've seen once in a lifetime things - we've been to places we only dreamed of, never thinking we would actually get to see so many of them during our lifetime.

And to think that our kids have seen them too is a by-product that we could not be more thankful for. When our boys study geography and history in school, they can say that they've been to some of these places that made a difference in the history of the world.  They've visited cities, towns and villages that date back hundreds, if not thousands of years.

While Josh and I always enjoyed traveling, this experience has opened our eyes to all the places in the world that we have yet to see.  And it's a thirst for knowledge, new experiences and different cultures that only enhances that desire to live a more global life.  

8.  Our friends and family have been very supportive thru all of this.  They've listened to us complain about this "glamorous" life.  They've been there when we are unsure of the decisions we are making along the way and encouraged us to listen to our hearts, enabling us to make what we've felt are the best decisions possible for our family. They've helped us to manage our lives at home even though we are 4000 miles away - since we didn't cut our financial ties to the US when we moved here, there are still things we need to deal with from abroad like our houses and a car that we need hands on help with.

And beyond our friends from home, we've made incredible new friends here along this journey. People from all over the world with experiences both similar and very different from ours - the reasons why people have ended up here vary and their stories are always fascinating.  And while it is difficult when people move on to a new location or back to their home country, we know that they are still our friends, and bonus, we have a new place to visit to go see them!!!

9.  Our marriage is stronger for having chosen to live a life less ordinary.  We've been thru the ringer and yet, here we still stand, stronger than ever, though at times, perhaps a little worse for the wear. While I certainly had moments of resentment and even doubt, we will come out of this storm stronger for it.  My mom always said that if your marriage can survive building a house together, you'll be just fine.  Well, I think an overseas move and at this point living for 6 months in two different countries says a lot about our commitment to each other and our family.

10.  The challenges that we have faced have shaped the people we've become and I'm pretty proud of who we've become in the last 4 years. This experience has not been easy, as you saw in my last post, but it has proven to us, and especially to me, that we can go outside our comfort zones and not only survive but thrive.  If you had told me 4 1/2 years ago that I'd be living in Spain alone with 2 kids while Josh commuted to Amsterdam every week, I'd laugh and say there is no way I can do that by myself. And yet, here I am.  I look to our kids who have proven themselves to be more adaptable than I ever realized - it took some time, especially for Aidan, but when I see the people they are becoming as a result of this, I can't help but feel that we made the right choice.  Often I think that challenges come in little pieces and we don't recognize the hurdles that we have overcome to get to where we are.  And where we've come is a long way!

11.  We've learned to take better care of the environment around us.  Now, we certainly aren't tree huggers, but I think we've learned better ways to reduce our carbon footprint thru living here.  What we need to do is to make sure that we transfer those lessons we've learned to wherever we end up next.

Walking instead of driving, which of course depends on city or suburban living, but even with suburban living, we can reduce the amount of milage that we drive.  And while neither Boston nor Amsterdam have the warmest of winters, there is no reason why we can't still hang our wash out to dry on nicer days and reduce the electricity we are using on that dryer.

Learning to live with less.  While I certainly have possessions in our apartment, I have realized that we don't have a need for much.  When I look at my shopping habits, part of which I think were out of boredom, back in the US, compared to here, they are vastly different.  And while we still spend that money, it's now on travel instead of things.  I have a quote on my pinterest that says "travel is the one thing you buy that makes you richer" and it's true.  But by purchasing less "stuff" we are still reducing our carbon footprint, at least a little bit.  

12.  Siesta and Sundays.  Ok, so I still don't like siesta but as it was a subtitle for my last post, I thought I should keep it.  Though it's concept, I'm cool with.  Just the American in me, even after 4+ years, is annoyed that shops close in the middle of the day.  But if I were Spanish, I think that siesta would be essential and I applaud those that continue to follow tradition and go home for their daily meal, spending more and better quality time with their families.

But Sundays, Sundays I have grown to love.  Everything is closed.  Well, everything but restaurants. There is no running of errands.  There is no busy schedule with the exception of the occasional playdate.  There are no sports or games.  And while it took us some time to get used to, we love our lazy Sundays.  They aren't always lazy in the sense of sitting around and doing nothing, but more so that they are spontaneous and relaxing, in addition to being good quality family time, something we were overlooking at home because of our intense social calendar.  Our goal, in our next location will be to remember how important it is to have this downtime, not just as a family but as individuals.  The week is spent getting things done - work, home, school - that to just relax and enjoy our lives is an important thing we need to remember to do.

13.  Technology.  Ok, this isn't a specific Barcelona thing.  But without technology I don't think I could have done this.  Technology has enabled me to be in regular touch with friends and family daily, making the 4000 miles seem more like 4 at times.

14.  Living a life less ordinary.  I've said it before.  Nothing was wrong with our lives before we made this choice.  In fact, we were incredibly happy with where our lives were headed.  But taking this chance, this risk, it proved that perhaps the unknown kept us from fully living our lives to the fullest. We didn't know what we were missing so how could we miss it?  But now that we've had this chance to live a life that is truly unique, at times we think it will be harder to go back to "normal".   I'm in a quoting mood, so here's another - "In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take."

15.  Our future is strong.  While we are unsure of where our immediate future will be from a location standpoint, one thing is for sure.  We will be together.  And whatever comes with that, we will face it together, as a team.  For all the difficulties we've faced.  For all the challenges and moments where we think we can't take one more thing on our plates we've found that it's all about the outlook.  When one door closes, another opens.  And so wherever this journey ends up taking us, it will be where we were meant to be.  And as long as we're together, we'll be fine :)

And so today is a new day.  It's a day where I woke up and decided that no matter how challenging these times are for us, I'm determined to embrace every moment of it and do my best to be more positive - I don't want to waste another moment of this experience feeling woe-is-me.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel - and we're almost there, I know it...

Besos,
Julie

The View from the Other Side

Often times I feel like my life looks pretty glamorous, at least from the outside looking in.  I have posted countless entries on all the wonderful places we have visited and fun things we have done in the last few years.  All things that we would not have been able to do had we stayed in the US.  And yes, they have been pretty amazing.  I've also posted some things about how tough it can be sometimes too - though it's usually something that is happening at a given moment, moments that pass.

But what I haven't done is really show you the inside view of what it has been like for us here for the last 4+ years and especially over the last 6 months which have most definitely been our most difficult to date.  This is not me whining - no, whining would be complaining about this life and having a wo-is-me kind of attitude.  No, this is about the challenges we face and the plain and simple facts are, this is our life, while a better quality of life than that we had in the US (in some ways), is not an easy life by any means.  This is about sacrifices we have made in order to have what we hoped was a better quality and more global life for our family and an opportunity for growth for Josh with his work.

So I thought I would share a few things so you can see that while life here can be grand, it is certainly does not come easy.  This is a fairly negative entry - I won't deny that - it's where my head is at the moment and I write as things come to me. And to be honest, the last 6 months have been pretty negative - so negative that Josh and I have talked about whether this was all worth it or not.  I'm hoping that we will look back when this is all over and say, yes, it may not have turned out as we planned, but it was worth the experience.  And it's not to say that there aren't a thousand wonderful things about living here because there are - I'm just not feeling them at this given moment.

So when you see we're going on a fabulous trip somewhere, don't judge - know that we damn well earned that trip thru the blood, sweat and tears we have shed over the years during this experience. And that to get thru our day to day lives, we often need something to look forward to.

Friends and family:

• Josh and I both come from small, close knit families.  Our kids are the only grandkids on both sides.  Our families have been incredibly supportive for the most part about our decision to move abroad and to continue living abroad, but it hasn't come without sacrifice.  The kids are close with their grandparents but get all of a few days per year with them.  Is that really enough? And to top it off, both Josh and I now have strained relationships with our siblings as a result of this move which has, of course, affected the relationships the kids have with them as well.
• Being away from family is not easy.  If we'd had a bad relationship with our parents, that might have been fine, but we didn't.  And to see them getting older and to see their health deteriorate or to know they are going thru something difficult that you can't physically be there to help with - it makes you feel helpless.  And knowing that you are losing time with them only makes it tougher.
• Friends come and go in life.  No quicker do they go when you are an expat.  Friends are made quickly when you live this life because you don't have time to "build" a relationship - either you click or you don't.  And odds are, you or they will be moving on in a matter of time.  It's truly a revolving door.  It's happened countless times to us (in fact, I said goodbye yesterday to a very good friend that's leaving this weekend) and it never ever gets easier.  The kids have become hardened against it and just have learned that this is part of life - a tough lesson for a 6 and 9 year old.  The only bonus is that with social media it's easier to remain connected and you can visit them in their new country and vice versa.  
• Friends from your home country.  I'd like to say those relationships don't change but that would be foolish.  Making a move like this impacts EVERYTHING in your life and that includes friends.  You say you'll stay in touch but it's out of sight, out of mind.  It's not just them but you as well - you've changed.  Some friendships can weather this test but many cannot - or if they do, you find that they weren't as strong as you once thought. 
• Everyone says they will visit.  About 1 in 10 will actually do so. When Josh talked about moving to Australia a few years ago I told him we couldn't because we'd had hardly anyone visit us here - no one was going to visit us there and I couldn't bear that thought.

Marriage:

• Every marriage has it's ups and downs but never will you be tested so much as when you move to a new country together.  
• It's hard to maintain a marriage when you aren't even living in the same country as each other 5 days a week.  Communication is key.  Big fights are too - sometimes you just have to let all the frustration out and no one else is going to understand what you are going thru other than your significant other.  If our marriage can withstand these last 6 months, we can conquer anything together.  

Kids:

• They say kids are resilient.  And they will adjust quickly.  Aidan did not want to move to Barcelona.  He fought tooth and nail on it.  The first few months were ok.  The following year was beyond miserable and we feared that this move created a monster and it did for a while - angry, violent, even talking suicide at times.  In the end, it took him 3 years to decide he liked it here (not all 3 were miserable like that first one).  The great news is that he now loves it... the bad news, we're leaving again.  And we're going to have to start over which he recognizes and accepts.  But that doesn't mean it doesn't rip your heart to pieces when your kid has to say goodbye yet again to friends that he's spent years cultivating relationships with... especially when he's already said goodbye to countless others over the last 4+ years.  It gives them this hardened shell that no 9 year old should need.  
• This is the only life that Liam remembers.  He was 2 1/2 when we moved here.  I expect that we will get similar reactions from him as we did Aidan when we moved here after we leave.  He will be leaving all his best friends and having to start over as well.
• When your child has a learning disability and you live in a foreign country, your options are EXTREMELY limited in English.  You had 20 people you could go to for testing for your kid?? I had one. Yes, one.  And she didn't even give us a definitive diagnosis.  I literally just found out a few weeks ago there is a 2nd one (3 years later) that we are going to now to have Liam tested for an unknown disability and Aidan re-tested. 
• Being a single parent isn't easy EVER... now do it when your spouse lives in a different country and you have essentially no support system.  What do you do if you have an emergency?  What if something happened to me and Josh wasn't here?  The scenarios are always going thru my head of how we would handle a given situation.  The kids have been forced to become more independent because I just can't do it all.  This is not necessarily a bad thing but we were perfectly happy with the way things were before.
• Finding a new school in your new country that fits your kid, your budget and your location (in AMS, my top choice has a wait list of 18 kids for Aidan and 28 for Liam - she said it would be several years before they got in).  Right now the only schools with space are either one where Aidan would get one year and then have to apply to another school for middle/high or one that will cost 20,000 euros per year per kid.  Neither is the ideal choice.  We're almost better off with the kids and I staying in Spain and Josh continuing to commute.  No, that's not a good option either but again, beggars can't be choosers.  

Integrating:

• Do you remember ven diagrams?  As a refresher, it's two circles that link in the middle.  The overlap is where we are - we don't fit in with our host country (in this case, Spain) and we no longer truly fit in with our passport country (the US).  We are in the middle ground.  
• Not speaking the language fluently makes it difficult to truly integrate.  While I've taken classes and am fairly conversational, I'm by no means fluent.  And it's harder to put yourself out there or to find information when you can't communicate.  
• The kids don't have friends here outside of school - it's hard to integrate when you are from a completely different world than these other kids.  The boys both speak better Spanish than I do, but both are hesitant to fully integrate.  Maybe that's our fault or maybe it's just the way they are wired.  Aidan has a kid in his tennis class that literally lives on the block behind us and yet he has no interest in sparking up a friendship with him.
• Well, we could put them in the Spanish schools and truly integrate them couldn't we?  No, we can't.  Because the schools in Barcelona are taught in Catalan, a totally different language than Spanish.  And none of us speak Catalan.  And when you have children with learning disabilities, that's just adding another layer of difficulty that's just unnecessary.    

Moving:

• Moving sucks no matter where you are coming from or where you are going.  You thought moving to another town was tough?  Try moving across the ocean.  None of your electronics will work here and those that might work on a converter may also blow up and never work again. And so you'll need to buy all new electronics while the stuff you already own sits in storage collecting dust.  If you are lucky your company will give you some kind of moving stipend to cover this extra cost.
• When you move back to your home country you can expect to have to now sell all said electronics because now they aren't going to work where you are going.
• Most people move abroad with as little stuff as they can muster.  We came with 110 boxes and I don't think we did too bad, leaving all but one piece of furniture behind.  But that meant buying new furniture and furniture is expensive, UNLESS you go to IKEA which is everyone's wet dream and nightmare at the same time.  While IKEA certainly has some higher end items, when you are moving somewhere temporarily (like our initial 2 years) you don't want to spend a whole lot on furniture when you already have beautiful stuff in your storage unit at home.  So you go back to the college dorm style of living once again.  Yeah, when you were in your 30s you probably thought you were done living the IKEA dream... nope, not even close. 
• You leave much of your possessions at home.  I don't like to think of myself as overly materialistic - perhaps once I was, but that's changed with life in Spain.  But regardless, I miss my stuff.  I miss my wedding photos that I haven't seen in 4+ years, my bed that was the first piece of furniture I bought when I got my first job out of college, the kids bedroom sets and all the memorabilia of our lives.  All I can do is hope they have survived storage ok when we get back.
• Moving is a logistical nightmare.  Not only do you need to deal with the selling of much of your possessions before you leave (because I have no need for this IKEA couch when I go back to the US when I have my nice Jordan's Furniture one there), but you need to time everything so you aren't sitting on the tile floor for 6 weeks.  And with that timing comes the shipment - at least 6 weeks before you expect to land, you need to ship everything.  When we moved to Spain, we shipped everything before Thanksgiving.  That meant our kids literally had a milk crate of toys to play with for more than 6 weeks and we had 2 suitcases worth of clothes to last us until the moving day.  And with a move either home or to the Netherlands we are back in the same boat (though the Netherlands would need less lead time) but this move means dealing with Spanish movers and ensuring that they don't take things that are owned by the landlord or that need to be sold.  It means walking thru with them in every room and detailing every item.  Josh wonders why I've begun prepacking and it's because I don't want to deal with the movers packing up the wrong stuff later.  
• Renting here is not like the US - not only are you responsible for everything unless it is structural (that means if the AC breaks, you fix it... if the dishwasher isn't working, sorry your responsibility too...) but they also require a hefty security deposit that can be upwards of 6 months of rent.  Our current landlord has the equivalent of 4 months of rent in a bank account right now, not collecting interest and it's unlikely we will get all of that back when we finish our time here.  And the apartment, there is no such thing as wear and tear - it better look EXACTLY like it did the day you moved in or kiss that money goodbye.  

Home Rental and Maintenance:

• Managing not one but two homes from 4000 miles away is a pain in the ass.  Simply put, it is a headache and a half.  We've had to rely on family and friends to help us let people in to see the house, work with realtors, do yard maintenance and so much more... and we are forever thankful and grateful that they haven't told us to jump off a bridge yet. 
• When you rent a house you take a chance with your renters.  You hope they are reliable and will pay the rent.  They don't always and you end up with legal fees from an eviction where you never actually recoup your money that was owed to you.  Then the house sits empty as you are paying the mortgage and you wonder, why are we keeping this?  Or the tenant that breaks the lease because he's decided to buy a house meaning that we have to pay a realtor yet again to find us a new tenant.  
• Good luck breaking even or making a profit on your home rental.  Again, it's our home so I want to keep it, but it would be nice if we could at least break even on it... but alas it's not meant to be. But with something like 7 billion people on the planet and constantly growing, there will always be a need for real estate, right?  
• Finding renters has been nothing but a challenge.  There have been times where we have lucked out and word of mouth has found us some great people.  But we've also had to pay realtors to find us people to live in our houses.  And nothing was harder than finding a renter for 6 months for our primary house.  Why 6 months?  Because our last renters moved and we didn't know if we were coming home this year or not.  But no one wants to rent for just 6 months.  And rather than continue to take a loss month after month, we had to accommodate a renter that should we move back this summer, would continue to live there even after the school year starts, meaning that we'd need temporary housing until well into the fall.  
• Having a house 4000 miles away means you still have to maintain the house.  And things break. Regularly.  
• On a similar note, maintaining a car from 4000 miles away is no easy task either.  Whether it's having your neighbors drive the car regularly or leaving it at your parents, you still have to pay to maintain it, pay excise tax and insure it.  Why keep it?  Because we were only supposed to be away for 2 years and we own it out right.  When we go back we don't want two car payments. But at the same time, it's still a lot of work to keep it.

Work:

• Trying to run a business when you are 4000 miles away and can't be in front of people.  With technology these days, it's not as bad as it would have been 10 years ago.  But it also makes it difficult to create new business when you can't have initial face to face meetings.  
• On Josh's end, feeling unsupported by the company that you came here for and not knowing your future is a very upsetting and frustrating feeling.  They seem to forget that you came here for the company and not yourself.  You getting the chance to have global experiences is a plus but it comes down to you being able to produce at work and when you've done nothing but produce time after time and still don't know a plan, that's a tough pill to swallow.  You are a cog in the wheel.  
• Moving 4000 miles away to do what you feel is best for your company and knowing you can make a difference only to find that everything changes and there is no loyalty.
• When an opportunity does arise, it means moving to another country and leaving your family behind for over 6 months (still in another country that is not their home country) in order to pursue a job that you love but that comes at a sacrifice of your family.

The "Simple" Things:

• Buying a car and getting a license - I had to completely go thru drivers ed again like I was 16 again to the tune of 1000 euros.  
• Making a doctor's appointments - when you take your kids to a hospital for their doctor's appointments it's near impossible to call to make the appointment if you don't speak fluent Spanish - there are just too many departments you can get transferred to.  In order to make their appointments, I literally have to go there and go up to the desk of their doctor to make the appointment.  
• Canceling or changing an account (already stressed over canceling utilities, etc).  It took me a month to get a new cell phone when I changed carriers.  When we moved apartments, our cable company only transferred over TV but not the internet which they cancelled and then had to create a completely new account which then took even longer to install because it was no longer considered a transfer.  I have no doubt when we move that the power is going to all of a sudden shut off days before it's supposed to.
• Going to the grocery store means 4 or 5 or even 6 different locations and you still can't get everything you need or want (but at least it's preservative free for the most part).  And you'll find yourself having to learn to make a lot of things from scratch that you never had to do before.  
• Learn to let go - truly you can't sweat the small stuff.  Those lights that you just replaced that have already gone out because of poor wiring?  Tough, just go buy a lamp or read in the dark. That A/C that is in the hallway that does nothing in the dead of summer - just go spend 300 euros to buy a stand alone unit and home that it gives you some reprieve of the heat.  No dryer?  Hang those clothes outside - winter, spring, summer and fall... yes all year long.  Smaller living space - do you really need all that crap?  No car?  It's better to walk for you anyways.  And with no car, you'll buy less stuff for your tiny little apartment that has little living space.  
• Siesta and Sundays - You wanted to go to the hardware store on Sunday?  Sorry, it and every single other store is closed on Sunday.  Try again on Monday but only between the hours of 10-2 and 5-8.  
• Target?  We don't have one.  Gap?  Nope, don't have one of those either.  And I hope you aren't shipping anything to me because odds are it's going to get stuck in customs or not come at all.  In fact, I just paid a 50% customs charge on a box of Easter candy from my parents that was delivered to me today.  I'm still waiting on those girl scout cookies from last year that never arrived.  And with 21% tax, anything you buy here is significantly more expensive than it is in the States.  There is a reason I come back here with 5 suitcases every year.  

The Future:

• This is the basis for all this negativity today.  Not knowing the future.  Sure no one can predict the future but my guess is you have a pretty good idea of where you are going to be living in the next 3 months - we don't.  As in, we have NO CLUE.  And there is nothing more helpless than being in a foreign country and feeling like you are being dicked around.  
• Knowing that when your ex-pat experience does "end" you will never be the same again and that this has changed who you are, who your kids are, forever.  
• Regrets?  The only thing I wish is that we hadn't done our second extension.  We should have stopped at 3 1/2 years because the last year has been so filled with uncertainty and the last 6 months have been downright miserable.  We should have quit while we were ahead, but then, we couldn't have predicted what the future would or would not hold, could we?

I could probably go on forever and forever on this post.  But I'm starting to get depressed by it.  And like I said earlier, we are happy here.  We have, for the most part, had a great experience.  But it's amazing how uncertainty in your life can change that experience and make it something completely different.  Our lives here have been good.  And wherever we end up, they will one day be good again. Don't worry, I have positive things to say about Barcelona too... I just need to get back into the right frame of mind :)  Til then...

Besos,

Julie

Feliz Cumpleaños Josh!!

Well, it's a few days belated but Happy Birthday to Josh!  I did a poor job with pictures (as in, none) but my hope is that is because were off having fun!

Josh didn't get home until late on the evening of his birthday but not to worry, we were ready for him on Friday morning with gifts and a cake for Friday night.  The benefit of him working from home on Fridays is that often we get to go out to lunch together which is exactly what we did.  That was after we exchanged just about everything I bought him which was the wrong size.  Yes, after 20 years, apparently I still can't buy the correct size!

Friday night Aidan had a soccer game, then we came home, had dinner and birthday cake!  The kids really wanted me to make him the Tardis or the Millennium Falcon.  I blame this sudden creativity on our cousin Fiona who the kids know loves to make creative cakes and as they were just with her this past weekend, it was fresh in their minds.  And hey, why can't mommy do that too?  Um, have you guys met me??  Suffice it to say, I went out of my "comfort" zone and made a double layer cake with both chocolate and yellow cakes with a layer of frosting in the middle as well.  Circular in shape, nothing fancy.  I shouldn't even need to say this but will, those that know me will already know that I did not make these cakes from scratch but from a mix.  But it was delicious and I'm having a piece as I write this entry :)

Anyways, back to the birthday boy!  Saturday night I arranged for us to go out with some friends for dinner.  It's been a long time since Josh and I went out much less the 6 of us got together - I think it's actually been about 6 months, right before baby Jordi arrived for Chris and Stephanie.  Sadly, it's the last time the group will be together as 2 are leaving Barcelona this coming weekend and the other 2 at the end of next month. And so it was all the more reason to be out celebrating - birthdays, bon voyage and friends forever.  And what better way to celebrate than with a delicious dinner at Da Greco, one of our favorite restaurants.

All in all, I hope Josh's birthday was a good one.  I've got to start gearing up for the next one - only one more year til the big 4-0!!!

Besos,
Julie