Josh is off and running tonight! His flight took off around 7:30 tonight though he went to work today so as far as I'm concerned, he left this morning. Now, he comes home late from work all the time, goes out at night, has boys weekend...and yet, it's never that big of a deal for me to be with the kids on my own. But something just feels weird about this. Maybe it's because I know it's for 3 weeks and not just a night or two? The house just seems empty without him here and we all miss him already. And I feel like he's going to miss out on the festivities of the holidays which are always such a big deal in our house - not about the gifts but about the time with family.
I think that this day also marks one more day closer to us all leaving. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. I know I've mentioned that before but it's true. I've been facing constant ambivilance for the longest time now and we're beyond the point of no return. Part of me is relieved about that because I can't say, nah, I changed my mind...forcing me out of my comfort zone which I know is what I need to do. But part of me is in a panic knowing that just one month from today, we will be on a plane (with 2 small children, god help me!!) to Spain!! The countdown is on! That this isn't just going for a week vacation or even a month, but for 2 years. 2 years in our lives is really just a blip on the screen but you know what? It's still 2 years! 2 years of trying to communicate in a language I'm not fluent in; 2 years of not driving except when we go on vacation; 2 years of eating food I'm not familiar with (maybe I'll expand my tastes!); 2 years of living in cramped quarters.
I feel like such a complainer and I don't mean to be. This is the opportunity of a lifetime and I plan to embrace it with all that I can. I think there is just anxiety of the unknown. And now that Josh is on a plane on his way, I know that it is coming and it's coming fast! This is a long time in the making and now it's becoming a reality. I find it interesting how much more planning seemed to be involved and I think it was related to it being a non-English speaking country. Josh printed out maps last night before he left so he would know where the stores were that he has to go to. If we were moving to England, would he have printed out maps here or would he just ask someone how to get there? Probably the latter, right? I feel like the language barrier is really what scares me the most. That terrifies me actually! But we will both get past it. I think that Josh's 3 weeks will be a good trial for not just him, but for me as well. Hearing his successes (and hopefully not many) and failures can only help to make it not so much the unknown for me. I'll have a better idea of, hey, stay away from that store... or, this is a really good place to get fruits and vegetables. I know he'll be working full time (he starts on Mon, no rest for the weary!) but he'll still have some time to do some exploring. And for now, I'll live vicariously thru him. I'm sure I'll be posting some of his adventures (or maybe he'll do some posting...hint hint Joshy!).
Julie
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